Something Old
This is an old text with a few twists that always makes me laugh, originaly from here.
You know how the story goes. There’s a beautiful princess, prisoner in the highest tower of a castle, guarded by a mighty dragon, and a fearless knight must rescue her… What would happen if this knight behaved as a musician, more precisely as a metal star. To find out, read this:
This is how te situation would be handled in each style:
POWER METAL:
Our hero reaches the castle in a winged white horse, escapes from the dragon, saves the princess, they go far away to a paradise-on-Earth and make love.TRUE/EPIC METAL:
Our hero reaches the castle and beats the dragon in a terrible battle, and raises his sword, bathed in the dragon’s blood, and then makes love to the princess inside the castleTHRASH METAL:
Our hero reaches the castle, fights with grenades and machineguns against the dragon, saves the princess, and f*cks her around Detroit.HEAVY METAL:
Our hero reaches the castle in a Harley Davidson, kills the dragon, has some beers with the princess and then they do it.FOLK METAL:
Our hero arrives with some friends playing accordion, pipes, violin and other weird instruments. The dragon falls asleep because of too much dancing and they leave… without the princess
Natural history of the world acording to the Bible
- In a easy to read explanation.
Today I'm gonna try something a little different here...
As we all know, the Bible has the answers for everything. It's unfair how those science people come on and tell that stuff written in there is wrong or inaccurate.
So God himself, bestowed upon me to tell the history of the world, how it REALLY, happened.
In the beggining there was light and God created the universe, earth, Adam and Eve and all that...
Who had a few children, who matted among themselves to populate the Earth.
[Fast Forwarding in time] Then God decided that everyone was a sinner and that the world should be purged. The obviously most humane form of doing that was drowning everyone, but to this true believer called Noah he gave the task of building this huge ark, that would carry two of every animals.
Those who use those unholy things like logic, reasoning and - God forbid - critical thinking, will say that it was impossible for Noah to get all the animals of the world inside the Ark, first because the world is quite big to achieve such thing, second because there's a wide variety of animals to get. Well, you are wrong! At the time the world was still made of one Continent, Pangaea (science people got all the dates wrong), so it was easy for him to travel the world dragging dinosaurs by the horns.
Yes, humans co-existed with dinosaurs!
